Good-Bye Dear Friend

Last Monday morning I got some horrible news. My friend texted me and said our friend Tammy had passed away. At first I couldn't believe it because she was only 38 years old. As it sunk in I started to shake and cry. All I could think of were her boys. They are only 2 and 4,  they can't lose their Mom!

She was going through alot of heartache that she didn't deserve. Her husband left her and ever since then she was sick and the doctors couldn't quite figure out what was wrong. Despite feeling awful and wanting to stay in bed, she got out of bed every morning and make every moment with her boys count. She made them special breakfasts, went bike riding, walking and on nature adventures! She didn't have alot of money, but she had alot of love. We helped her out with clothes and toys for the kids (and a few special things for her!) at Christmas and she made this past Christmas magical for them. I'll never forget when she wasn't feeling well she said to me "Whatever it is, I'm one tough SOB".

As I thought about her death and how it was so unfair, I thought to myself "why is this happening? There must be a reason". What I think is that God is trying to teach us to cherish the time we have with our loved ones and tell them what they mean to us. He took Tammy because she was hurting and needed rest. She lived every minute of those 38 years of her life to the fullest; she loved big, laughed hard and was so vibrant. She was beautiful inside and out.

Now I find myself thinking about everything before I act or speak. I am appreciating the small moments and pushing the stress aside. The small giggles shared between my girls, the kisses, the cuddles, everything feels so much better when we stop taking things for granted.

Thank you my friend for teaching me these lessons. You will forever be in my heart! ♥

Why Are You Running Away?

This past week I have encountered a lot of people I know who are running away from things. It's bothering me for a number of reasons, so I thought I'd better spill it in my blog!

First it was a friend who was a member of a group of a few women on Facebook. We all had babies in December 2011 and January 2012 and we have all become very close. She just found out that her daughter has a health problem and is understandably upset. She had left our group for some reason and has now shut off her Facebook account because she doesn't want anyone to say anything to her other than "I'm sorry" or "I'm praying for you". She said she doesn't want to look on the positive side or hear any other comments. I understand that some people can be rude in their comments, but I don't see why that would be a reason to close your entire Facebook account. She is running away from the people who care about her when really she should be running to these people who have their arms open to give her a huge hug. Our moms group is so wonderful and supportive and we are always there for eachother and do not criticize. I just cannot understand why she wouldn't want to take the support. I know that's what I need most when I'm dealing with alot of stress.

The next was my sister in law. Once again, Facebook related but she took my husband and myself off of her friends list without saying anything to us. I sent her a message mentioning it and she said that Facebook makes her sad. I guess when I said I was happy to find a reliable babysitter, that upset her because she loves to babysit our girls but our oldest just decided that she didn't like staying there anymore. Unfortunately, I only found this out today after 3 days of wondering what the heck was going on. She avoided the whole issue until my hubby blew up at her because she wouldn't say why she was upset. Once again, someone running away. She ran away from a discussion that could have very easily solved the problem but instead it turned into a huge problem! She called me crying this morning. I told her that she should have just told us why she was removing us and I'm sure it would have been fine.

I understand that everyone has their own way of dealing with things, but shutting people out isn't the answer. We are only human; sometimes we hurt, we cry and we need eachother. Without support in tough times, we can and will crumble.

So a note to my friends; thank you for your support when I have needed it (keep it up!) and I am always here if you have a problem with me, a problem in life or just need a shoulder! I don't want to hear "I needed to talk to someone, but...." because I am here. Don't try to hold it in and be strong because eventually it will eat you up inside. This is something I have learned in my 30 years of life and feel the need to pass on.

So Much to Give Thanks For!

I can't believe it's Thanksgiving again, it seems like the past year has gone by in a blur. A good blur, but a blur nonetheless! Every Thanksgiving I try to think about all of the things that I am thankful for and every year I have a little more to be thankful for!

I am most thankful for my wonderful husband who puts up with me day in and day out! lol. Well, I guess we actually put up with eachother because we all have our bad days and we love eachother whether it's a bad or a good day! He's always there to comfort me- like this week when I got in my first fender bender with our van and dented the bumper. I called him and he answered even though he was in meetings across the country and he told me he was more worried about us girls than the damage to the van and that everything would be alright.

I am thankful that we have a nice house and food in our fridge because I know there are alot of people in this world without those things. Most people who do have them take them for granted and we really shouldn't.

Two other reasons to be thankful are our two beautiful, smart little girls. They make my days (and nights!) interesting. They have changed how I see the world. I appreciate everything about life so much more since they came into our lives. My appreciation for the miracle of human life is also tremendous now. My body grew these beautiful babies and fought to keep little Abbey safe. At this time last year I was unsure of whether or not we would be meeting our sweet baby in January because of all of my pregnancy issues. I spent almost every day of that pregnancy so scared and I am so happy she is here and healthy!

I am also thankful for a trouble- making dog who makes me crazy some days....well, to be honest most days but I love him all the same! He has made our family complete.

I can't forget all of the rest of my family and friends because without them I would never have mommy- dates, babysitters when I need a break, advice and hugs when I need them the most! As much as we fight with our parents when we're teenagers and think they don't know what they're talking about, I really do appreciate them and all of the support they give me now. I realize they were right all along and I'm sure our girls will shake their heads at us one day and say "you don't understand!".

So this Thanksgiving remember to be thankful for all that you have, not just the things but the people too!

I went to one of my good friend's baby shower over the weekend. One thing she said got me thinking. She mentioned that her best friend had recently stopped returning her calls and texts and she couldn't figure out why.

I suddenly flashed back to around four years ago when I was pregnant with my first child, Ceili. Some of my childless friends suddenly stopped calling me and inviting me out. Once she was born, only a couple stuck around. At first I was really upset and wondered why, but then I decided to stop questioning, get on with my life and concentrate on the good friends I did have.

I'm not sure why people who don't have kids do this, hearing my friend say this made me sad for her because I know how she feels. I think the reason alot of childless people cut all ties to people with children is that they feel they can no longer relate to the new parent. Little do they know it hurts the other person and makes them feel alienated from their usual world.

The advice I gave her was to try not to worry about it and just spend time with the friends and family that stand by you. Obviously people who do this to their friends weren't really your friend in the first place.