First it was a friend who was a member of a group of a few women on Facebook. We all had babies in December 2011 and January 2012 and we have all become very close. She just found out that her daughter has a health problem and is understandably upset. She had left our group for some reason and has now shut off her Facebook account because she doesn't want anyone to say anything to her other than "I'm sorry" or "I'm praying for you". She said she doesn't want to look on the positive side or hear any other comments. I understand that some people can be rude in their comments, but I don't see why that would be a reason to close your entire Facebook account. She is running away from the people who care about her when really she should be running to these people who have their arms open to give her a huge hug. Our moms group is so wonderful and supportive and we are always there for eachother and do not criticize. I just cannot understand why she wouldn't want to take the support. I know that's what I need most when I'm dealing with alot of stress.
The next was my sister in law. Once again, Facebook related but she took my husband and myself off of her friends list without saying anything to us. I sent her a message mentioning it and she said that Facebook makes her sad. I guess when I said I was happy to find a reliable babysitter, that upset her because she loves to babysit our girls but our oldest just decided that she didn't like staying there anymore. Unfortunately, I only found this out today after 3 days of wondering what the heck was going on. She avoided the whole issue until my hubby blew up at her because she wouldn't say why she was upset. Once again, someone running away. She ran away from a discussion that could have very easily solved the problem but instead it turned into a huge problem! She called me crying this morning. I told her that she should have just told us why she was removing us and I'm sure it would have been fine.
I understand that everyone has their own way of dealing with things, but shutting people out isn't the answer. We are only human; sometimes we hurt, we cry and we need eachother. Without support in tough times, we can and will crumble.
So a note to my friends; thank you for your support when I have needed it (keep it up!) and I am always here if you have a problem with me, a problem in life or just need a shoulder! I don't want to hear "I needed to talk to someone, but...." because I am here. Don't try to hold it in and be strong because eventually it will eat you up inside. This is something I have learned in my 30 years of life and feel the need to pass on.