Big Changes & Happy Times

Since we moved we have been busy building garden beds, cutting down damaged trees and making this house our own.

I managed to have an amazing garden this summer which yielded over 30 lbs of tomatoes and lots of spaghetti squash and zucchini. I loved growing our own healthy food so we built some more raised beds a few weeks ago in preparation for next year!

I'm learning to appreciate all of the seasons since moving here. I really don't enjoy winter too much, but I am starting to get used to it and enjoy some of the outdoor activities we can do as a family. I also love the frost covered trees and pure silence the country has to offer.

Almost two weeks ago we added some chickens to our acreage. We got a rooster and two hens and I love everything about them so far. I look forward to opening up their coop in the morning, Joseph the rooster crowing and hearing their cute little noises when they hear me bringing their food.

Unfortunately there have been ups and downs in our clean eating since we moved. We're further from the grocery stores so sometimes we end up with less vegetables on our plates than I'd like! We're working on it though and I got a FitBit from Matt so I'm also increasing my exercise.

I had better sign off for now. A certain toddler is looking for someone to play blocks with. I have attached a few pictures of our new home and goings on around here.

Our Lives Have Changed

I apologize for being away from the blog for so long. So many things have changed in our lives which have kept me so busy!

One awesome change has been our home. We sold our 30+ year old, 1000 square foot home in the city and bought a beautiful 1 year old, 1400 square foot home on almost 3 acres of land outside of the city. It has been a huge adjustment for us all but I think now we're in our groove and loving it! I was a little sad to leave our old home behind but more excited for a new adventure as a family. This is a picture of us at our new home the day we got posession.

We started out with absolutely no grass, but it has filled in so my hubby enjoys mowing it on his new tractor. Ceili, our oldest loves to help too. I have learned all sorts of things like how to use a chainsaw, log splitter and more! We are on a bit more of a budget since we moved so I have gotten very good at baking all of our own bread as well. We have met quite a few of our neighbors in the subdivision and a few people close by. Everyone has been very welcoming and kind to us.

We have had a cougar issue around our home since the beginning of fall. It is a cub and has been hanging around our yard and the neighbors. The first time my hubby saw it was when our dog and it scared eachother at the edge of the treeline. They both went jumping backward in the air! Since then we have seen it a few more times and have become much more aware of our surroundings. Ceili is a little more frightened than her sister so we have to keep reassuring her that it's not going to get her. Animals are part of living in the country and we just need to get used to it, although this cougar should probably be moved since it seems to like humans!

All in all we are happier now than I think we have ever been. We are enjoying "camping" in our home and seeing all of the nature around us. I really love the fact that we have so much space and can do what we want when we want to and the loudest noises we hear is the wind for the most part. I am in love with our new life.

2 Years Ago Today

I can't believe it, our baby girl turns 2 years old today.

Two years ago today I didn't know if we were expecting a girl or boy but I was so ready to meet him or her! Two years ago today I was sent home from the hospital because "just because it's your due date doesn't mean you're going to give birth on this day" and returned hours later in active labor. Two years ago today our sweet, dark haired baby girl Abbey Florence Rose sped into this world and changed our world forever. I will never forget sitting on the hospital bed with our two girls and the feeling that my life was complete.

Since she was born, Abbey has changed a lot and amazed us in many ways. She looks so much like her daddy but is very much her own person in every way! She is feisty, passionate and knows what she wants and I hope she stays that way. Very few people in this world know what they want and will fight for it. I can't forget to mention that she's just about the best snuggeler in the whole world and such a Momma's girl so that makes me happy.

In the past year she has learned how to walk, got her first tooth (yes, she is a late teether!) been on 2 family vacations and even spent a few days and nights with just Daddy when I went to visit my sister. Her big sister has taught her so much including the alphabet, how to color, how much fun it is to play in the snow and even how to push Mom & Dad's buttons!

Here's to you, Abbey. You goofy, sweet, adorable little 2 year old! Happy Birthday, I love you so very much! XOXO

Hoping for Health!

Things seem to be looking up around here. My dad has his surgery to remove the cancer from his bladder last Tuesday and is doing well now. I spent the day at the hospital with him and my mom last week when he had his surgery. His heart rate was up and down, but that was normal since he has A-fib and they haven't quite figured out the dosage of meds he needs yet. He said he's feeling good now and now we just wait for the results from the lab to make sure they got it all. He's frustrated that he can't get back to doing his regular activities already!

After all of this craziness with my dad's health, I decided I needed to find a good doctor. My old doctor couldn't care less about me, I'm pretty sure he just wanted to write prescriptions and get people out of there. I found a new doctor close to our house and he immediately wrote up a sheet of blood work for me to get done. He's testing me for arthritis, diabetes and everything else under the sun. After that he will be doing a physical. I haven't had one of those in about 10 years since my old doctor charged extra for them! When I mentioned my knee pain and my mom's arthritis, he seemed a bit concerned. I'm hoping it's just bursitis though!

My weight loss had slowed down for a while, but it looks like it's getting started up again now. I have been walking 5 km a day to take Ceili to school, so that works out to 25 km a week more than I was walking before. That's probably what's helping! I'm feeling pretty good and still eating clean, although I do have a treat now and then and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. No matter how much weight I lose, I find myself criticizing my body and I know I need to stop. Before, I would look at myself and think "man, I need to lose weight". Now I look at myself and say "look at the saggy belly" but then I remember that I once had 40 lbs of fat in that belly and I feel confident. I need to be sure I don't put myself down like that because I have two impressionable little girls watching me very closely! I've now lost 2 shirt sizes and 4 pants sizes so I definitely think that's an accomplishment. I'm going to try out Curves gym again starting tomorrow because I bought a 30 day trial so I hope that will help me build more muscle.

This was just a big blabber-fest about everyone's health, but I think I'm done now. Back to the ever- growing laundry pile!

First Day of Kindergarten

Yesterday our little girl, Ceili took a big step. She had her first day of kindergarten! She was so excited and nervous all at the same time. I was so excited for her too, but so sad for me because this is the end of having her all to myself every day! Thankfully she's only in half days or I would have really lost it!

It seems like yesterday I had just given birth to her and was holding her for the first time. Now she's 5 years old and going to school! I just can't believe it, time sure goes by quickly once you're a parent.

We took a few pictures, as you can see she wants to make crayons when she's grown up...precious. Then we did our usual first day tradition, started when she went to preschool last year- took her out for a special breakfast before school. Matt said that he wants to be there for the first day of school every year for our girls which I think is wonderful. Then we took her to her big, huge school. When I went to take the picture of her, she looked so tiny in front of that giant school!

We were early so we wandered around the school for a bit. We got her settled then the national anthem came over the intercom and we all stood. That's when she looked up into my eyes, her little bottom lip quivering and said "Mommy, I don't want you to go". I started tearing up! I talked to her and told her she would be alright and everyone there was her friend. She went and played a bit and then we left.

When we left I cried; it was out of pride for our big girl mixed with a bit of nervousness for her and sadness for myself and Abbey because we would be missing out on so much time with her. I knew she would be fine there and she was safe, I just knew this was the end of having her home during the day. Next year will be a full day!

Anyway, I survived after my tears and walked home with Abbey. We got a lot of laundry and cleaning done and went back to get Ceili. She was very excited to see us and tell me all about the things she did. She had a great day today as well so we must have picked a good school. I'm happy that she loves school so much and I hope it continues!

Sleep and Sugar

Since we had our meeting with the sleep consultant and put a plan into place, our four year old's sleep has improved quite a bit! It has been a week now and she now sleeps 10 hours at night and has about an hour long nap in the afternoon, that is far more sleep than she has ever had! She is generally in a better mood and is much easier to deal with. The tantrums she was having before were starting to make me crazy. The worst tantrum she has had in a week was last night before bed and that was because she was overtired (we put her to bed too late). She had a screaming fit and was using every excuse in the book to get us back into her room! I did what we were told to do, take her back to her room without speaking to her. She was very angry with me, even this morning but she eventually calmed down last night and went to sleep on her own.

I have made the decision that we will keep this schedule as long as she needs this amount of sleep. If there is a birthday party or event (as long as it's not a family member or close friend) during nap/quiet time, we will be missing it. When she goes to the birthday parties and events and misses out on the quiet time or a nap that is needed, she is sleep deprived for days and then Matt's and my nerves are shot and we end up being grouchy with each other and the kids. In the end, it's not fair to anyone. So from here on in, any acquaintances birthday party is NOT more important than my children's sleep and our sanity.

Speaking of sanity, since we have committed to clean eating, I have been experimenting with sugar and our children. I have found food coloring, white sugar, fructose, etc really affects them. It makes them absolutely crazy! And surprise, surprise it also affects their sleep! I know that I can't ban sugar completely because there will always be sugar at birthday parties and school, but I am really trying to avoid the nasty sugars around our house unless it's a special occasion. I have a few friends who limit their children's sugar intake so it should be easy enough to keep up. Our biggest problem will be people we know who give their children a constant supply of slurpees, suckers and gummy bears and Ceili and Abbey will see that and wonder "why can't I have that?".

The picture in this post is Ceili playing outside in her clover crown after a good nap. We were really enjoying out time together because we were both well rested and in a great mood!

Sleep Help Day 1

We had a difficult day today and it made me even more anxious because I knew we were starting the new sleep plan for Ceili, our 5 year old daughter today.

The sleep consultant told me to watch for when she was tired and put her for a nap then (yes, she still naps for around an hour a day which is surprisingly normal!). She was acting tired at around 12:30 pm after we had lunch so I put both girls for a nap. Abbey, our 17 month old was out like a light. Ceili on the other hand was acting crazy in her bad, saying she couldn't sleep. I went in to check on her at one point and she had changed her clothes, taken every bow she owns down off of her bow holder and had played with a bunch of toys in her room. Needless to say there was no nap for her and she ended up having a meltdown afterwards saying she was "sooo tired".

When Matt came home at 4:30 pm she was eating an apple for a snack and we had to keep her awake because she was nodding off and spilling apple slices everywhere! She got her second wind, thankfully and ate supper fine. I gave them both a bath right after bed and got them into pj's. They had a snack and Ceili brushed her teeth and went potty then we read a couple of books to them. She was excited because she got a sticker on her chart for doing those things.

Then the nighttime routine began. It was Matt's turn to put her to bed so she got to choose a "dream card". I put them together by finding photos from magazines and gluing them onto heavy paper. The photos are of things like a field of flowers, mountains, a lake with geese, etc. Matt and Ceili talked about the picture before bed and helped her to visualize what could be happening in the picture to help her be calm and have sweet dreams. He also did the usual routine of telling her a story and singing a song. He said she was pretty crazy and not calm at all though.

She came out of her room once and went potty again then tried to argue about her slippers because she couldn't find them. Matt reminded her of the rules and she went back to bed and was asleep by 8pm! What a change! I am hoping that she sleeps through the night and feels rested in the morning.

Mirror, Mirror

It has been just over a month since we started eating clean and it is now starting to feel like second nature. I don't even think twice while I'm walking through the mall and smell the greasy foods in the food court. I have been planning our meals at the beginning of the week and the new recipes have been a hit in our house! Ceili calls the sprouted rice we eat "bird food" but she loves her bird food, haha!

I have lost 17 lbs to date and I actually like what I see when I look in the mirror now! I feel great about myself and biking has become my new favorite activity. I can't wait until I lose 20 lbs so I can post progress pictures! I haven't liked looking at myself in the mirror for a long time, so I know I am making progress.

In other news, we have a sleep specialist coming to help us out with Ceili because she is struggling to fall asleep and stay asleep long enough in the night. I never thought I would be paying someone $500 to help us get our kid to sleep! She has never been a good sleeper, but it is just getting worse so we know we have to do something. We have tried all natural sleep aids for kids, new routines, earlier bedtime, pretty much everything and we're at our wits end! I'm anxious to see what she says.

It`s way later than I thought and I need my beauty sleep, so I will sign off for now!

Happy 2013!

Wow, I can't believe it's 2013 already, Every time I say the year, it makes me feel old! I remember when I was small and thought that by 2013 we would live on the moon and have flying cars!

We have a New Year's Eve tradition at our house and we followed it again this year. We get a bunch of appetizers, champagne and Christmas crackers and have dinner together followed by a movie. This year we loaded up on Asian appetizers and a giant shrimp ring and got some "kid champagne" (sparkling apple juice) because of Ceili and the fact that I am breastfeeding and didn't want to have alcohol. We had a delicious and fun night!

Every year at New Year's I reflect on the past year. What a year we had! We started the year off with a new baby then Matt went out of town the next week with work and I enjoyed a visit from my sister from B.C. I eased into having two kids much better than I had imagined. I have to admit, it is a bit more difficult now that Abbey's on the move, but it isn't as insane as I had thought it would be. I have learned alot about myself while dealing with these two little versions of myself! I celebrated my 30th birthday and my big girl turned 4 years old! We also saw her start school in 2012, meet new friends and grow and change so much. We enjoyed a family vacation to Cuba in June and survived the crazy flight home. We also got our new pup Boots this past year. So much has happened! There have been ups and downs, but we survived another year and when I look back I see much more good than bad.

Here are a couple of photos of our wonderful New Year's as a family.

Wishing you and your families a very Happy New Year and wonderful things in 2013!

Ceili and her "kid champagne"

Abbey didn't like her New Year's hat so much!

Christmas Catch-up

I apologize for the large gap in posts. Christmas at our house was very busy and required a lot of preparation this year. I made Christmas dinner for 13 family members and cooked my first turkey. It was a massive 19 pounder and was a little scary, but I managed just fine! Knowing that 13 people's hungry tummies are depending on you making a delicious dinner puts some pressure on a person!

Christmas morning was wonderful for us. We invited my parents for present opening and breakfast. It was so nice to have them there with us and watching the looks on the kids faces as they opened their gifts. We opened stockings, ate breakfast (a yummy cake I found on Pinterest) and then went back to opening more gifts! I got almost everything I asked for- a griddle for making pancakes, a new pedometer, There were alot of gifts this year, but my favorite gift was having all of my family together. It was very cold outside, but our house was warm and cozy and full of love!

Here are a few photos from Christmas at the Thompson household.

Why Are You Running Away?

This past week I have encountered a lot of people I know who are running away from things. It's bothering me for a number of reasons, so I thought I'd better spill it in my blog!

First it was a friend who was a member of a group of a few women on Facebook. We all had babies in December 2011 and January 2012 and we have all become very close. She just found out that her daughter has a health problem and is understandably upset. She had left our group for some reason and has now shut off her Facebook account because she doesn't want anyone to say anything to her other than "I'm sorry" or "I'm praying for you". She said she doesn't want to look on the positive side or hear any other comments. I understand that some people can be rude in their comments, but I don't see why that would be a reason to close your entire Facebook account. She is running away from the people who care about her when really she should be running to these people who have their arms open to give her a huge hug. Our moms group is so wonderful and supportive and we are always there for eachother and do not criticize. I just cannot understand why she wouldn't want to take the support. I know that's what I need most when I'm dealing with alot of stress.

The next was my sister in law. Once again, Facebook related but she took my husband and myself off of her friends list without saying anything to us. I sent her a message mentioning it and she said that Facebook makes her sad. I guess when I said I was happy to find a reliable babysitter, that upset her because she loves to babysit our girls but our oldest just decided that she didn't like staying there anymore. Unfortunately, I only found this out today after 3 days of wondering what the heck was going on. She avoided the whole issue until my hubby blew up at her because she wouldn't say why she was upset. Once again, someone running away. She ran away from a discussion that could have very easily solved the problem but instead it turned into a huge problem! She called me crying this morning. I told her that she should have just told us why she was removing us and I'm sure it would have been fine.

I understand that everyone has their own way of dealing with things, but shutting people out isn't the answer. We are only human; sometimes we hurt, we cry and we need eachother. Without support in tough times, we can and will crumble.

So a note to my friends; thank you for your support when I have needed it (keep it up!) and I am always here if you have a problem with me, a problem in life or just need a shoulder! I don't want to hear "I needed to talk to someone, but...." because I am here. Don't try to hold it in and be strong because eventually it will eat you up inside. This is something I have learned in my 30 years of life and feel the need to pass on.

All for My Girls

Today I finally did the thing I was dreading and went into my work and had a meeting with my boss about going back to work. For a few weeks now, I knew I had to go in and tell him what Matt and I had decided and I was even having nighmares about it!

I dropped Ceili off at preschool and headed over to work. I visited with everyone there for a bit then went in to talk to my boss. I told him that my family was #1 right now and I just can't imagine leaving my girls to go back to work at least at this point in their lives. When they are young, these are the most precious years. They are learning so much and I want to be there to see watch them grow and change. I was amazed that he was very understanding and said that if I ever decide that I want to return, he will be more than willing to re-hire me there.

I did enjoy working there very much, they are a great company and the office was so small that it was like a family too. Everyone worked well together and they were very supportive when I had to leave and go on bed rest and maternity leave. I don't think I have every worked for such a great company before. I definitely would consider going back to work there once the girls are both in school full-time.

So, I am now a stay-at-home Mommy and am proud to say that our girls are my full time job now. Being a Mommy is more work than any other job you will find, but it's so worth it and so rewarding!

So Much to Give Thanks For!

I can't believe it's Thanksgiving again, it seems like the past year has gone by in a blur. A good blur, but a blur nonetheless! Every Thanksgiving I try to think about all of the things that I am thankful for and every year I have a little more to be thankful for!

I am most thankful for my wonderful husband who puts up with me day in and day out! lol. Well, I guess we actually put up with eachother because we all have our bad days and we love eachother whether it's a bad or a good day! He's always there to comfort me- like this week when I got in my first fender bender with our van and dented the bumper. I called him and he answered even though he was in meetings across the country and he told me he was more worried about us girls than the damage to the van and that everything would be alright.

I am thankful that we have a nice house and food in our fridge because I know there are alot of people in this world without those things. Most people who do have them take them for granted and we really shouldn't.

Two other reasons to be thankful are our two beautiful, smart little girls. They make my days (and nights!) interesting. They have changed how I see the world. I appreciate everything about life so much more since they came into our lives. My appreciation for the miracle of human life is also tremendous now. My body grew these beautiful babies and fought to keep little Abbey safe. At this time last year I was unsure of whether or not we would be meeting our sweet baby in January because of all of my pregnancy issues. I spent almost every day of that pregnancy so scared and I am so happy she is here and healthy!

I am also thankful for a trouble- making dog who makes me crazy some days....well, to be honest most days but I love him all the same! He has made our family complete.

I can't forget all of the rest of my family and friends because without them I would never have mommy- dates, babysitters when I need a break, advice and hugs when I need them the most! As much as we fight with our parents when we're teenagers and think they don't know what they're talking about, I really do appreciate them and all of the support they give me now. I realize they were right all along and I'm sure our girls will shake their heads at us one day and say "you don't understand!".

So this Thanksgiving remember to be thankful for all that you have, not just the things but the people too!

Stop Time...NOW!

This morning when Ceili was at school, I was nursing Abbey before her nap. Being the crazy momma that I am, I was smelling her head and holding her little hand and thought to myself "can we please pause in this very moment forever?". I feel like our baby girl is growing up way too fast.

When Ceili was a baby I was always looking ahead thinking "I can't wait until she can do ______". I am finding with Abbey, our last baby I want to savour every moment of her being a baby. She is now scooting around the house on her bum and trying to stand up. Most of the time when I cuddle her, she pushes away because she wants to go play with her sister. Where has my little baby gone? I can't believe she will be a year old in January!

Maybe I feel like it's going by too fast because we are always so busy and I haven't had as much time to just watch her grow and change. We're always doing something or running somewhere. Plus, breastfeeding has created an amazingly strong bond between us which makes me want her to stay a baby even more.

I think I need to stop, smell the flowers and enjoy my little girls before they're not little anymore!

Here's to You and Me Mommas!

Yesterday a friend of mine posted a link to a blog. As soon as I read it, it really spoke to me. It was this blog entry. It was just written by another mom, but what she had to say meant so much to me. My favorite quote from it is
"You are a good mom. You matter. You are making a difference.
You can do this. One step, one day, at a time."
This is my new mantra and from here on in I am going to try my very best to live by it.

I realized after reading this that my stress is rooted in trying to be everything to everyone and have everything perfect. Well, nothing is ever going to be perfect, there will always be moments when things go wrong. And you know what? A little dust on the shelves, a little paint spattered on the wall from finger painting or a pile of laundry that didn't get done yesterday...or today doesn't matter in the end. What matters most is that my kids are happy, truly happy and they have a mom that treats them well and doesn't get frustrated over the trivial things in life. I need to be here for my children to teach them and love them not to get frustrated with them.

I think there is too much pressure put on moms to be perfect and keep the house (and their kids) sparkling clean, have the laundry washed, folded and put away, the kids fed and entertained and supper ready when hubby comes home. The lady that wrote the blog entry is correct though- people don't realize how much work it takes to be a mom and handle even just the day to day stuff that comes along with your job. Us moms deserve a pat on the back more often than we get one! Being a mom is a 24 hour job, you don't get time off for a sick day or a break when it's bedtime because you never know when you child will wake up sick or with nightmares or just need a drink or snuggle. I am making it my mission to start patting my friends who are moms who really deserve it on the back more often and all of the husbands, boyfriends, partners and kids out there reading this should do the same.

Starting yesterday the way I live my life changed and I decided that I am not going to sweat the small stuff. And starting yesterday I noticed happier kids, a happier hubby and a happier me too!

Moody Mommy

I've been compiling this post for a few weeks in my head, but haven't had the chance to put it all down into words in here. I have finally admitted to myself and my family that I need to get some counselling.

I have been having some issues with stress. I know it's normal to have some stress being at home with 2 busy kids and a puppy, but I have recently come to realise that some days I just feel like I can't handle it and that's when I feel alot of anxiety. I'm sure it's a common mommy problem because we're always trying to be everything to everyone.

I have found myself snapping at Ceili and Matt for no reason and I can't even catch myself before I do it which worries me. WhenI get mad like that, I feel like I'm not even myself. My family doesn't deserve to be yelled at which is why I am going to the doctor to be referred to a counsellor. I feel so guilty for doing it and it makes me feel like such a terrible mom.

Part of my issue is exhaustion. When I have had a long night and been up multiple times with Abbey then up early in the morning I definitely have a shorter fuse. I know that I put too many expectations on myself like laundry, dishes, cleaning, taking care of the kids and dog, walking the dog, etc all in one day but if I don't feel accomplished I feel like I'm not doing my "job" since I'm at home with the kids right now. Matt says "are the kids cared for?" when I say "yes" then he says, "well you're doing your job then! The other stuff isn't important" but I guess I like to try and exceed expectations.

I am hoping with someone unbaised to talk to I can spill out all of the feelings and thoughts I have sitting inside my head and start to try to deal with the unnecessary stress so I can start fresh. I want to be the best mommy and wife possible which is why I'm seeking help. I love my girls and husband too much to make them have to live life walking on eggshells.

Routine is Our Thing

After 6 months of having a crazy, unpredictable sleeping schedule I have finally gotten Abbey into a routine and she seems to have taken to it better than expected!

I have to admit, I coddled her way more than I did Ceili, our oldest. I think it's because I know she is our last baby and I wanted to hold onto that so badly and as long as possible. Now I have realised that I have to let go, just a little bit and let her have her own space to grow and discover.

We now have a routine for both girls. Abbey starts her nap at noon and Ceili starts her's at 1pm and bedtime is around 9pm for both of them. Abbey started to be so crabby when we were trying to keep her up later, so one evening I just decided to put her in her crib and see what she did. Well, she cried for a few minutes then rolled onto her side and fell asleep! What a surprise to me! I expected the same fight as with our oldest where she would scream and kick as soon as she saw me leave the room.

Over the past 4 years I have come to understand that routine is our thing in our house. Without it, I think we would be in complete chaos. If my children skip a nap or get to bed too late, they are complete monsters and it makes our day so much more stressful. I have had so many people say to me in the past "Does she have to be in bed at that time?" or "can't she just skip a nap?". To that, I say we are in a routine that works for us, it keeps my kids happy and healthy and mommy and daddy aren't insane because we never spend any time on our own.

4 Years Ago...

This weekend (on Canada Day) our first baby girl, Ceili will be 4 years old. I can't believe how fast the past 4 years have gone by. When I think about the day she was born, I realise how much I have changed since I became "Mommy" to someone. I don't know what life would be like if I was not a mother, I would probably be bored and unfulfilled. I have never felt such a strong love and attachment to anyone or anything. She a very special little piece of me. Every day I feel a sense of pride because I created a beautiful, smart little human being with a heart as big as she is! She makes me laugh and helps me see the world differently- through a child's innocent eyes. I have my daughters to thank for these gifts and I definitely will never forget that! Thank you and Happy 4th Birthday my little Ceili- Bean!

The Thompsons Go to Cuba!

We made it to Cuba and home safely...barely!

Our flights there were quite good, Ceili enjoyed the movies and TV on the plane and all of the snacks and toys I packed for her. Abbey alternated between nursing and sleeping most of the time with an explosive poop here and there but it wasn't so bad. I even got to watch the movie "The Help" which was an excellent one!

Cuba was beautiful. It was +30 on average and the humidity was between 85-100% every day. We spent most of our mornings on the beach which was only a few steps from our hotel room (awesome!) and in the afternoon we had a siesta and normally went to the pool. Abbey didn't enjoy the sand at the beach so much. Nursing isn't so easy when there are granules of sand in your mouth and your big sister runs by and sand flies into your face! I think Abbey's favorite part were the siestas in the air conditioned hotel room. Ceili couldn't get enough of the beach, I think every kid would love to spend all day making sand castles and playing in the warm ocean. All of us except for Abbey got a bit of a sunburn and a tan and now we're peeling like snakes.

We hired a guide, Michael to take us into town for a day trip. He took us to the zoo in town, a market, the crocodile farm and a few shops that the Cubans shop at. It was really sad to see the lack of choice they have for food, clothes and items for their homes. For example, one store we stopped at had a few large cans of tomatoes, some beer and pop and the rest was bare shelves. It really makes you appreciate what we have here and how much money we have compared to them. We were glad that we brought the stroller and carseat to give away to someone there after we saw the lack of baby products in the stores. We gave the stroller to a man that worked at the pizza restaurant at our resort that had two girls almost the exact same ages as our girls. The carseat was given to a lady that worked at the Asian restaurant and was due to have her baby girl in mid-June. She just adored Abbey and would pick her up and snuggle her whenever she had the chance.

Matt went out on a deep sea fishing trip on his own one morning. I told him that he had to go because I know he has always wanted to. He had a fantastic time. They speared a stingray that was about 5' across! Little did they realise, the stingray was pregnant and as it lay on the boat it gave birth to a bunch of babies. All of the babies survived and were put back into the ocean. The mama was enough food for a bunch of them at the marina to share, so I think they were pretty happy. I was mad at Matt when I found out that he killed a mama stingray, but I guess how were they to know?

We also went to a beautiful beach called Pilar Beach one morning. The water was such a beautiful aqua color and sand was so fine and white. I thought it was terrible that we had to pay $2 for a lounge chair, but we had an amazing time there. There were tons on angel fish which appeared when Abbey spit up in the water! There were also gar fish that swam all around us and they must have been around a foot long each. The water was so clear, you could see everything!

Our flight home was far too exciting for my liking. We were supposed to fly from Cuba to Toronto. We ended up flying from Cuba to Miami and landing. At one point I looked out of my window and said to Matt "Why are we so

low....are we even flying or are we on the ground?" I could see a city's lights right out my window. Not really below us, but more beside us. Finally after about 30 minutes of me wondering what was going on, the captain comes onto the speaker and tells us what is going on. They were flying so low because there was a cabin pressure problem on the plane and they were trying to fix it. If they would have gone much higher we would have been low on oxygen and the masks would have popped out of the ceiling. Needless to say, they couldn't fix it so they had to get rid of fuel by flying in circles and we finally landed in Miami about an hour later. I really felt lucky to be alive. If those pilots didn't know what they were doing, we wouldn't be here today! We ended up sitting on the tarmac for almost 2 hours while they figured out what they were doing then had to go through customs, get our bags and line up to get our hotel info. It was complete chaos and we finally got into our hotel room at 4:30am. We had to get up and get to the airport again before noon because our plane to Toronto left at 1:30pm. Our last plane ride from Toronto home was uneventful, thankfully and I am not overly excited to fly again in the near future!

I am THAT Mom

In a few weeks, we will be travelling to Cuba with both of our girls for a one week vacation. I am so excited, but ovewhelmed with packing! I think we're taking half of the house with us, but at least we'll be prepared.

While I was collecting 75 diapers and 3 packs of wipes I got to thinking about our very first trip to Cuba. It was just Matt and I and we went around 5 years ago. It was alot of fun. On the flight there, there was a small baby crying. I heard the mom talking about how excited they were for their vacation. I remember saying to Matt "why on earth would someone take their little baby on a flight all of the way to Cuba just for a vacation?". Now I'm that Mom! And, you know what? I have no regrets! Over the past 4 years, I have come to realise that we do not view our children as optional. Many parents take off without their kids every chance they get, but I want my kids to experience things like a swim in the ocean, feeding flamingos and different cultures and types of people. When I see my children experience those things, it makes me feel like I am experiencing them for the first time as well because I get to live it again through them. I understand parents who need a getaway once a year or so because us parents do deserve some alone time, but I hear of parents going on all- inclusives every few months and leaving their kids with grandma and that's just not us.

I have had a few revelations over the past few years regarding children that I never thought I would have. Another example is, I always saw mothers breastfeeding their babies without a cover in public and thought to myself "I would never do that, I'm too self conscious". And what do I do every time we go out and Abbey is hungry, I whip my boob out and feed her of course! My child needs to eat, so I don't care what anyone else may think!

I also carry a potty seat in our van, make my kids wear a leash when they're toddlers and are in public, have endured many, MANY tantrums in the middle of stores and do not give in which causes an even bigger scene.

Yepp...I'm that Mom and I don't care what people think of me because I do what's best for me and my kids and Matt and I are doing our best to raise smart, caring, healthy, independent children!